


Life

by Blackghost7



Category: NCIS
Genre: First Time, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-10
Updated: 2015-01-10
Packaged: 2018-03-07 00:01:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3153233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackghost7/pseuds/Blackghost7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someone from Tony’s past turns up with possibly disturbing news. Tony does some soul searching, and decides he needs to talk to Gibbs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Life

   
Gibbs gently carved another groove next to the one he had just etched, working slowly, taking his time. Every now and then he took a sip of bourbon, before carefully placing the etching knife on the next spot and adding another groove to the design. Once in a while he glanced over to the basement stairs, but still seeing no movement, returned to his work again. He had been sitting here carving for nearly two hours now, waiting patiently for Tony. He was worried about the younger man, had been worried for a while. Tony had been behaving strangely, seemingly distracted, and had been either conspicuously subdued or overly exuberant at work for weeks now. And when Tony had shown up in his basement tonight, he knew that he would finally find out what was going on with the younger man. But Tony had perched on the basement stairs and had not spoken, not even moved since then, not even sipping the beer that he held in his hands, warm and flat by now. Still Gibbs waited patiently. Tony wouldn’t have shown up if he wasn’t ready to talk, and Gibbs would gladly wait until hell froze over if it would help Tony.  
   
When Tony suddenly got up, the movement almost startling Gibbs after the long immobility of the younger man, Gibbs watched as Tony walked over to stand beside him.  
   
“Gibbs?”  
   
“Hmm?”  
   
“Can I… can I give you a hug?”  
   
The question came out of left field, but Gibbs remained his stoic self. Looking into the younger man’s eyes, Gibbs saw something there, some need, that made him comply. Getting up to stand in front of Tony, he simply opened his arms. Tony stepped against him and put his arms tightly around Gibbs’ waist, the older man closing his own arms around Tony’s shoulders and back. Gibbs felt the tension in Tony’s body, and felt a soft shiver run through the younger man, then felt Tony relax and almost melt against him. Softly stroking his hand over the back of Tony’s head, Gibbs held him close, full body contact, knowing on some basic level that Tony needed that, that while the question had been if Tony could hug Gibbs, he had really meant could Gibbs hug Tony. And for this young man, Gibbs would do almost anything.  
   
They remained locked in the embrace, pressed closely together, for long minutes, until Gibbs finally felt something in Tony give. Tony had buried his face in Gibbs’ neck and at last Gibbs felt the expelled air of a deep sigh against his skin. Continuing to hold Tony and keeping up the stroking of his hand through Tony’s hair, Gibbs turned his head a little and placed a soft kiss on the younger man’s temple.  
   
“What’s going on, Tony?”  
   
Sighing again, Tony pulled back, Gibbs releasing him from his arms when he felt Tony break away. The younger man poured himself a large jar of bourbon and took a first sip, then pulled over a stool and sat down next to Gibbs, his shoulders slumped and looking down at his hands.  
   
“I’ve been so confused, Gibbs.”  
   
The story came out with starts and stops, Gibbs again waiting patiently and silently, picking up his knife and resuming his carving as he carefully listened to Tony.  
   
“A couple of weeks ago, this woman shows up at my apartment. I dated her for a while years ago, I barely recognized her. She said we needed to talk, so I let her in. And then suddenly she’s telling me that she has a kid, a boy, and that he’s my son.”  
   
A quick glance up at Gibbs told Tony that the older man was startled, his head giving a short jerk, his hands freezing for only a moment before continuing the cut he had been making.  
   
“I swear I’ve always been careful, Gibbs, no way was I gonna bring a kid into this world! Not like that! You know what it’s like with me and Senior, I would never want to risk anything like that to happen to me. But then she’s showing me these pictures and I had to admit he looked just like me at that age. So then I was starting to worry. I asked her what she wanted, why she was telling me this now after all these years. Turns out she’d lost her job and now needed money to support the kid. So I told her I needed some time to process what she’d told me, and she said she understood and left.”  
   
Tony paused for a moment to sip at his bourbon.  
   
“So I started checking her out, digging into her background. Sorry about that, Boss, I know it’s not exactly legal, but I just had to find out more. And she was completely clean, I couldn’t find anything that made me doubt that she had been telling the truth. So I started wondering, maybe it was true, and I had a kid. And then when I was thinking about it, I thought maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, maybe I liked the idea of having a son. But that just started me thinking about what I really wanted, and I got so confused.”  
   
Another pause for a sip of bourbon, and Gibbs took the opportunity to study Tony for a moment. He could understand that this had really shaken Tony up, being told you were going to be a father was a little unsettling at the best of times even if you had been hoping for it, but like this… But Gibbs had a feeling there was more, that Tony wasn’t done yet. Again, Gibbs waited.  
   
“Well, I knew I needed proof either way. Even if I couldn’t find anything on her that told me she was lying, I wasn’t going to just believe everything she told me.”  
   
Gibbs nodded in approval. Always double check.  
   
“So I called her and told her that I wanted a DNA test. She didn’t want to agree at first, but realized she wouldn’t get anything from me without it. So she finally agreed. I couldn’t bring myself to ask Abby, so I had a buddy of mine run it in a rush, as a favor. Turns out the boy wasn’t mine after all. And when I told her, I saw that she already knew it. I still tried to help her though, sent her to an acquaintance who was looking for someone to help him in the office, I hear she got the job.”  
   
Gibbs couldn’t help but feel relieved that it had turned out the kid was not Tony’s. If Tony wanted children, Gibbs would want him to have them with someone he loved and could raise them with, not by accident and only finding out years later.  
   
“For a while I was really disappointed that I wasn’t the father, but when I was honest with myself it was just the idea that had excited me, and that I really didn’t want to have a child, certainly not like that. But that just brought me back to thinking about what I did want, what I was really looking for. And I finally figured it out. And it has me worried and excited all at the same time, and scared of being hurt because I don’t know if I’m ever going to get it.”  
   
Downing the last of his bourbon, Tony put down the jar, then stood up and pressed a soft kiss to the top of Gibbs head, whispering something to the older man before practically fleeing up the stairs and out of the house, the courage he’d drummed up during those two hours sitting on the stairs to get him through making his confession completely deserting him now, making him unable to face Gibbs’ reaction at this time.  
   
Tony’s whisper left a stunned Gibbs staring after his retreating form for a long time, the words echoing in his mind.  
   
“It’s you.”  
   
~~~~~  
   
Gibbs dropped the knife on the workbench and took a deep breath, then rubbed his hands over his face. Pouring himself another bourbon, he sipped at it slowly, staring at the wall, trying to make sense of his whirling thoughts. Tony wanted him. Unbelievable. Unimaginable. Unthinkable. Irresistible. Irresponsible. Irrevocable.    
   
Inevitable.  
   
Because of course if life could pull the rug out from under Gibbs, could swipe him off his feet and laugh as it watched him fall, could see him crash and shatter, life would do that to him. Life and Gibbs did not get along.  
   
And Gibbs had been trying to be good, he really had. Had tried to protect those he loved from life’s tendency to fuck with Gibbs. Had tried to keep himself apart, so they wouldn’t be affected when life decided to bite Gibbs in the ass. Especially when it came to Tony. Because Gibbs had denied himself his feelings for Tony, his attraction to the younger man, the love he had for Tony. For years. All to protect him from the jokes life liked to play on Gibbs. And now this.  
   
Of course Tony wanted him. The one he most wanted to shield and shelter from the mess that life liked to throw at Gibbs, was of course the one who would be drawn to him. Another of life’s jokes.  
   
Sighing, Gibbs resigned himself to it. He could choose to keep going on the path he had been taking all these years, thereby denying Tony and himself what they wanted, or he could give in, accept that this was going to happen, and maybe get a few more moments of happiness before life inevitably took them away again, leaving him more broken than he already was.  
   
He knew which Tony would choose. If he hadn’t known it already, the younger man had proved it tonight. Tony was brave enough to go for the chance at happiness and face the consequences when they came, sure that he would be able to survive them no matter what.  
   
Gibbs decided to take a page out of Tony’s book. And if it turned out that this was life trying to fuck with Gibbs again, then this time Gibbs would find a way to fuck with life right back.  
   
He got up and grabbed his car keys.  
   
~~~~~  
   
Tony was only half surprised when the knock on his door came about an hour after he’d arrived home. Gibbs wasn’t one to let something slide, and this was definitely not something that the older man would be able to ignore. It had just been a question of when he would show up, tonight or tomorrow, but Tony had known that the knock would come. Sighing, he went to the door to let Gibbs in.  
   
The real surprise was that as soon as he opened the door, Gibbs pushed Tony against the wall and devoured his mouth in a hungry kiss. Tony happily submitted and reciprocated, running his hands over the older man’s chest and sides, pulling at his hips to get Gibbs closer against him. When the kiss broke, both breathing heavily, Gibbs looked Tony in the eyes and spoke.  
   
“We need to talk.”  
   
After settling on the couch, sitting an almost uncomfortable distance away from each other, drinks in hand, it was Gibbs’ turn to talk. Tony was almost astonished at the sheer number of words that came out of the older man’s mouth, and listened intently, taking everything in.  
   
“We’ve known each other a long time, Tony, and you know my track record when it comes to relationships. Always crashed and burned, and that’s mainly my fault. I don’t let people in easily, and that’s because life always fucks it up for me. So when I tell you that I love you, have loved you for a long time, believe that the main reason I never told you was to protect you from getting sucked into the mess that is my life and getting hurt by it.”  
   
“You love me?”  
   
“I do.”  
   
“Wow.”  
   
They drank in silence for a moment, letting that sink in, then Tony spoke again.  
   
“I don’t do well in relationships either, you know.”  
   
Gibbs smirked a little.  
   
“I know.”  
   
“But I do know you, like you said. I know you’re steadfast and faithful, and loyal to those you love, and I love that about you. I know you have a tendency to shut people out, but I also know you do it to try to protect them. I know you can be a bastard, but I also know that when you love, you love unconditionally. Like your girls. I love that you still love them so much. You’re an honorable man, and unwavering when it comes to what you believe is right. Plus, you’re really hot!”  
   
Tony had been watching Gibbs while he was speaking to him, and his eyes sparkled when at that last bit, Gibbs’ head shot up and he looked at Tony, giving a surprised snort.  
   
“Come on, Jethro, you know you’re hot, right?”  
   
Tony chuckled when he saw a slight blush creep up Gibbs’ neck, and the older man took a moment to sip at his drink to try and hide his embarrassment. Clearing his throat, Gibbs spoke, ignoring Tony’s last comment.  
   
“I never knew you were interested in men?”  
   
It was more a question than a statement.  
   
“One or two, a long time ago. But I’ve had a crush on you since we met. I just didn’t really know it. I thought you were attractive, and I knew what I felt for you was more than something you normally feel for your boss, but I thought it was admiration for the man you are. It was only when this whole thing with the possibility of me having a kid happened and I started being honest with myself about what I wanted and what I was looking for, that I realized why my relationships, especially the last couple of years, didn’t work out. They didn’t measure up to what I had with you, what I felt for you, what I wanted with you.”  
   
“What exactly do you want, Tony?”  
   
“You. For the rest of my life.”  
   
“It’s an awful risk to take. What happens when we crash and burn? I don’t want to lose you, Tony, I can’t lose you.”  
   
Tony scooted over and sat sideways on the couch, draping one leg over Gibbs lap and the other behind him, then took the older man into his arms.  
   
“You won’t. I won’t let you. Don’t forget, I know you. You can’t shut me out or brush me off like you could those ex-wives of yours. If you could, it would have happened years ago. But I’m still here, by your side, and I’ll stay here for as long as I can.”  
   
Looking at Tony, Gibbs was again amazed at the younger man, at his bravery and honesty, and wondered briefly what he had ever done to deserve Tony’s loyalty and love. Pushing those thoughts aside, Gibbs focused on his lover and leaned in for another kiss. Tony happily welcomed him into his mouth, and let his hands start roaming over Gibbs’ body again. When Gibbs gently pushed him over so Tony lay back on the couch, Gibbs was conveniently already between Tony’s legs, and they settled against each other delightedly.  
   
The kissing and stroking turned to devouring and groping, and when their excitement became unbearable, they moved to the bedroom. Tony started stripping Gibbs’ clothes off in between kisses as soon as they left the couch, and had the older man naked by the time they reached the bed. Pushing Gibbs down onto the covers, he stood admiring the naked form of the older man for a while, and Gibbs looked back, a little insecure whether Tony was liking what he saw. But when he saw Tony’s eyes darken with lust even further, he knew the younger man was not disappointed, and allowed himself a pleased little grin.  
   
Eyes still on Gibbs, Tony started slowly removing his own clothes, and saw Gibbs reach down to take his erection in hand, stroking it slowly, eyes fixed on Tony and the body he was revealing. The more naked skin and muscles became visible, the more Gibbs started panting in lust, fuelling Tony’s excitement further. All his clothes removed, Tony stood naked and proud in front of Gibbs, letting the older man gaze at his body for long moments, very pleased to note that Gibbs apparently liked what he saw. Then Tony pounced.  
   
Practically jumping on top of the older man, Tony covered Gibbs’ body with his own and proceeded to devour him. Lips met lips, tongues met tongues, hands roved over every inch of skin they could reach. Then Tony started moving downwards, nibbling along Gibbs’ jaw and neck, his shoulders and chest, nipping his belly and dipping his tongue into the belly button, which caused Gibbs to shiver in pleasure. Gibbs stroked through Tony’s hair, breathing heavily under the younger man’s ministrations, and gasped in excitement when Tony at last closed his mouth around Gibbs’ cock. Sucking and licking and stroking, Tony brought his lover to the edge while Gibbs thrashed under him, only to be stopped at the last moment by Gibbs’ hands and strained voice, rough with lust.  
   
“I want to be inside you.”  
   
Shivering in pleasure at the words and tone, Tony crawled up for more kisses, giving Gibbs a chance to calm a little, and in between kisses spoke with his own husky voice.  
   
“I want you inside me too. And then I want to be inside you.”  
   
Groaning in delighted expectation at the thought, Gibbs replied.  
   
“You will be. As soon as you can get it up again.”  
   
“That won’t take long. Too much temptation.”  
   
“Promises, promises…” Gibbs muttered, and Tony chuckled before being shut up with another deep kiss.  
   
When Tony had handed him the lube, Gibbs flipped their positions so that he was now covering Tony, and gave the same attention to Tony’s body that the younger man had given his, finding all his hot spots and mercilessly exploiting them. He slicked up his fingers and brushed them over Tony’s entrance a few times, taking the younger man’s cock in his mouth and sucking him down. When finally Gibbs pushed one finger in, Tony groaned in enjoyment of the feeling, and kept up his moaning while Gibbs prepared him, thrusting up when two fingers became three and Gibbs nudged his sweet spot.  
   
“Please, Jethro. I’m ready. I need you now…”  
   
Pulling at Gibbs’ shoulders, Tony tugged his lover up and took his mouth in a kiss, wrapping his legs around Gibbs’ waist. When Gibbs lined up and pushed in, bottoming out in one long slow thrust, Tony gasped at the feeling of Gibbs filling him, feeling finally complete. Caressing Tony’s face as he waited for the younger man to adjust to the hard length inside of him, Gibbs stared down at his lover in wonder, his heart nearly bursting with love. When Tony started bucking his hips, Gibbs started thrusting, a slow deep rhythm that fell apart and turned frantic as soon as Tony started begging for more and harder. Changing his angle a little, Gibbs hit Tony’s prostate over and over again at every stroke, eliciting keening moans from his lover that turned into a surprised shout of pleasure when Gibbs pushed him over the edge with a few strokes of his hand on Tony’s cock. Gibbs followed immediately after, and the two men lay in a panting heap of satiation for a little while before Tony managed to get up to get a washcloth to clean them up.  
   
Sliding under the covers together, Tony pulled Gibbs against him and wrapped his lover in his arms, Gibbs’ back pressed to Tony’s chest, and they dozed for a while. When Tony’s dick started stirring again, Gibbs wriggled back against it appreciatively, and Tony chuckled.  
   
“Told you it wouldn’t take long.”  
   
“Am I that tempting?” Gibbs asked almost mockingly.  
   
“You have no idea.”  
   
Holding their positions, this time Tony prepared Gibbs thoroughly before sliding in. The frenzy of the first time out of their system, this round was slow and tender, and Tony almost languidly stroked Gibbs’ dick with his hand in time with his long deep thrusts, leading to a climax even more overwhelming than the first one had been. When Gibbs had come down a little, Tony held the older man’s hips and thrust a little harder, finding his own release shortly after. They fell asleep like that, Tony wrapped around Gibbs, holding him close, never letting him go.  
   
In the morning, Tony nearly fell out of bed as he tried to roll over, Gibbs grabbing onto his arm just in time to prevent the fall. Tony muttered in displeasure.  
   
“I’m buying a bigger bed today.”  
   
Gibbs laughed. An actual full out laugh, that had Tony’s eyes twinkling in enjoyment.  
   
He did buy a bigger bed that day, Gibbs actually accompanying him to test mattresses, because Tony wanted Gibbs to be comfortable whenever he stayed over. Neither batted an eye at the amused looks the sales clerk threw them as they moved from bed to bed in the store, lying down together and arguing over which mattress was better, Gibbs sighing in indulgence when Tony insisted on pillow tops and a plush enormous duvet and high thread count sheets. But after they had spent a couple of nights at Gibbs’ house as well, the older man admitted that Tony’s bed was more comfortable than his own, and a similar set up was quickly ordered and installed at Gibbs’ place.  
   
For the next couple of months, they settled into life together. They spent nearly every night together, either at Tony’s or at Gibbs’, and quickly learned each other’s more intimate habits and quirks, easily accepting them and secretly loving that they were the only ones who knew them. The few nights they spent apart, they found they now slept better together than alone, and it was that which prompted Gibbs to ask Tony to move in. They moved Tony’s stuff during the weekend, and Gibbs liked seeing it there, feeling it was turning into a home again instead of just a house. Gibbs loved coming home in the evening to find Tony playing the piano, or cooking them dinner, or simply lounging on the couch while watching TV, and made sure that he didn’t make his lover wait too long for him to come home.  
   
When they had been living together for a couple of months, they decided to tell the team and invited them over for a barbecue one sunny Saturday afternoon, knowing that they would understand as soon as they saw all of Tony’s things in Gibbs’ house. When the team arrived, they glanced around as Tony eyed them a little nervously to gauge their reaction. Smiles were exchanged between the different team members and McGee stated the obvious: “So, you finally moved in together, huh? Congratulations.” Surprised at the easy acceptance, Tony was a little dismayed to discover that their friends had thought they had been together for ages already, and chuckled to himself a little ruefully when he realized that he had been the last one to see what had apparently been obvious to everyone else.  
   
Things were good, and they were happy.  
   
And Tony kept his promise. For the rest of their lives, he never let Gibbs push him away, even if the man exasperated him sometimes.  
   
Gibbs kept his promise too. Life still occasionally tried to fuck with him, but when it did, Gibbs always found a way to fuck with it right back, with Tony steadfastly at his side.  
   
 


End file.
